Finally back

Hi all,
I am so so sorry for my little hiatus! I just let life get the better of me for the past couple weeks. The last week especially with exams all over the place, the death of a family friend (and a round trip of 1000+ miles plus the funeral in only 26 hours), and the visit home of my older sister from college left me a bit out of breath. But, today I'm taking a breather and getting back into the swing of things.

For one, I finally went out to a store for the first time in ages. Though I'm living at home, I'm still not working much due to my school schedule plus I owe my mom some money for my phone and car insurance, so I haven't spent barely anything in the past few months. I'm not one who needs to shop all the time, but I do love to get something new every once and a while to spice things up, even if it's small. However, I'm realizing that I seem to be running my wardrobe thin over the past year or two, and I'm lacking in a few central pieces like good skinny jeans, black pants (for everyday), a good white tee, good cozy sweaters, a couple nice dresses, and black shoes. So anyway, today I went to the store with my dad and sisters to look for dresses to wear for my cousin's wedding in November (how is that already so close?!), and it just felt so nice to look at pretty clothes and shoes and bags and everything. and, I found a really nice light gray wool sleeveless dress (below). It's great, and versatile! I love that store and Marshall's for pretty clothes without such a hefty pricetag. So, I think one day this week (either tomorrow or Friday), I'll leave home a few hours early and go out to the stores for a few hours before I go to school, and see if I can't find a few nice things to build my wardrobe back up around! I'm so excited! :)

 T.J. Maxx, $19.99!

Another thing I got done was to finish cleaning my room at my dad's house, finally. It's been a mess for a while but now that it's finally clean, oh it's great and it feels so fresh and open :) At my mom's it's still an absolute pigsty..but I'll work on it this week! I really need to sort through all my clothes and really get rid of some, because I feel like I don't wear half of them any more and it's so bad! So, that's one thing to work on this week. I love neatening my room if I'm in the right mood, so hopefully soon I can really get some work done! It leaves me with such a nice feeling afterward, like I can finally think clearly and focus.

Also, lately I've been really into makeup. Over summer, I literally only ever wore mascara. But lately, I've been using concealer under my eyes (lack of sleep is starting  to show unfortunately), a little eyeliner on bottom, mascara, a little eyeshadow, and even a little bronzer for highlighting. I found a YouTube channel, beautycrush, and I just absolutely love it!! Her name is Sammi and she's from London, and I love her style. It's definitely a bit more forward than I would wear around (my town isn't very fashionable at all haha), but I've been trying to incorporate more fashionable things into my everyday and to try to look a little better in general. I love it! Putting on makeup is so fun when you see what it can do, and I finally understand why people take the time to do it all the time. I still have days where it's just mascara and a little concealer--or nothing if I'm at home--but I do try to step it up more often. It feels nice to look good.

Well, I promise that I will update more often from now on as I manage my schedule better, and I should be putting in pictures more often as well!
I want to say a big thank you to everyone who reads these!! I feel so honored that my thoughts were worth your read, and so I'll try to keep things interesting for ya :)

Have a nice, restful night, and a great day tomorrow! :)

Crack in the Armor

I'll be honest, I've gotten my fair share of lucky breaks in life, and I'm not used to dealing with failure. However, I've recently found that I cannot rely on my brain alone if I want to succeed. I actually failed an exam. In college. I cannot believe those words are true, but they are, and it's completely my fault. When things come up that I don't like, I divert and avoid, I hide behind anything and everything until I escape completely. However, apparently biology doesn't work that way. I did everything I could, literally, to not study for this exam. I pushed it farther and farther down my list of priorities until suddenly, I hadn't studied, and it was time to take the test. I tried, but due to crazy construction on my route to school, I barely made it to class on time and was still worked up. If I had simply sat down and read over my notes even, I would have done worlds better, but I realized that with about 10 minutes before I had to leave for school.
So now what?
Well, in all honesty, I have to conquer one of my least favorite things and actually go talk to my professor. I can't explain why, but I am not one to go for help. At the very worst situation, I'll ask a peer. He's already giving us fifteen possible bonus points since the class average for the test was a 51%. However, I need to talk to him about my possibility of staying in his class. Why pay for a C right? But at the same time, I'm so ashamed of my failure that I want to do nothing more but stay in his class and right my wrong. I feel like dropping the class is avoiding the issue and is humiliating. It's a shame that the drive to succeed is coming five weeks into school, but I know that I really can succeed if I put my mind to it here.
I am kind of notorious for not matching intent with action. I have so many dreams and plans, but I don't always follow through (for example, my plans to post something about fashion last week...sorry!). That is my thing to change in myself from now on.

On the plus side, I see beauty every day as the leaves change and two of my friends come home this weekend, so hopefully that helps my loneliness, at least temporarily. Also, tomorrow my Poppop turns 92! He's one of my absolutely favorite people on the planet, he always has a piece of advice to give, and he always tells me to follow my heart :) Tomorrow morning I'll try to sit for a few quiet minutes and just clear my mind. I really need to think about what's best for me, despite what anyone else says. There's too much chatter about it lately and I feel so muddled.

Also, on the subject of music, someone you NEED to know, is Lights. Her music is a wonderful version of pop/electronic, but not overwhelmingly so at all! Her new album even involves dubstep in a way that I swear can be enjoyed by anyone. And some of her songs are so sweet and beautiful. She's been around for years and my has she grown, it's incredible to watch because she's still such a wonderful, down-to-earth person. A couple tracks I really love are Drive My Soul, February Air, Banner, River, Last Thing on your Mind, Where the Fence is Low, Saviour, and Toes. I probably forgot one, but anyway, check her out!! Also, make sure you look at her acoustic stuff, because holy crap it can be even better than studio sometimes, she's just so talented!


The picture is from somewhere in Ontario on one of the most beautiful mornings I've seen.

Have a good night everyone! :)