Sunnier Days

Well, I honestly meant to write this weeks ago, when it was still hip and in to describe to the world just how much you love autumn and everything about it, but, true to form, life got in the way. (Yes, I do have an addiction to commas, oops) After a very busy and often stressful three weeks or so, I'm beat. And today's dull gray chill is doing nothing to get me on the homework train. So, I figured (as is often best for me) might as well give in to the temptation for a bit, let my mind rest, and then get back feeling better. So, here we are.

We were having a gorgeous autumn until the past week of rain and true chill. All bright colors and sunshine, and I tried to soak up every bit before I was ready to burrow inside, as I feel now. So, one day after school, it was lovely out, I had time, and adventuring happened. I climbed a tree, I ran, I smiled, I climbed some more, and I took pictures. So here's some sunshine and some beautiful autumn to brighten up my gray day!

Up in that tree I mentioned.

This is our corncrib, which is now used for, as you can see, storage of hay bales, and also occasionally for climbing in.

The sunlight was gorgeous filtered down through the leaves.

I have a similar shot to this from my bad makeup/clothes choices days, around 2009? I've always wanted to repeat it sans me.

The leaves on this tree were my favorites.

So impressed by the iPhone 5c camera (just got it before this shoot happened, so thrilled to have all the extra space!) and it's focus abilities.

And here's the what I wore, because I love clothes and dressing nicely.  Scarf-TJ Maxx, Jeggings-Forever 21, Boots-DSW, I have no idea which brand, Sweater-thanks Gramma!

Hope these brightened up your gray day if you're having one. Enjoy the weather before it's gross, and don't forget to take a little time for yourself here and there. You'll work all the better for it! xx

Following through..

Since I'm usually pretty crap at following my own advice, I'm going to do my AYP right here, right now, while I'm not studying for that quiz tomorrow anyway. 

I am here. I am living at home, commuting to a college that I feel very neutrally about. I get to be with my family, but they're living their own lives as well as me, and I have to drive my younger sister around too much of the time. I spend much of my day alone, sometimes in silence. I am very chatty once I know people, or even sometimes before, so this really pains me a lot, maybe more than most others. I am half introverted, half extroverted, so I really like to talk to people and lately I'm always the first to introduce myself, but sometimes I also do like to be alone, though usually that's when I'm at home, not at school. I procrastinate far too much, so even easy homework gets pushed late. I'm also a packrat, though lately I'm beginning to hate clutter...even though I still can't throw it out (what if I'll need it some day???). I try to draw every once and a while to stay creative, and it helps, and I think I'm getting better, but I'd love to do it more. Last year I literally lived on Netflix, this year it's Youtube. I feel like I could be a better person than I'm being. I also feel that being silent so often helps me to observe others better, but also that it's making me really judgy, and I don't want to be like that, but that probably came from being super trusting in the past. I miss my best friends like crazy, and they've only been gone two weeks this time. We feel like sisters now, we're so comfortable around each other, and that's what I miss the most on my lonely days. I am not entirely positive on what I want to do with myself, though I have it pretty nailed down to something in language. I also keep feeling like art keeps nudging me too, but I'm not sure what I'll do with that thought yet. I want a change of scenery, even though I really do love this area and all its beauty.

The decisions that led me to here. Well, first it was deciding to only apply to schools that were very expensive, very far from home, and VERY hard to get into. I am a relatively normal person, college application wise, so this was a bold move for me...and it did not come to fruition. (I know I've told this sob story before, but please indulge me one more time, for the sake of this exercise!) Then, when I didn't get it, I let myself completely fall apart, and I lost a lot of faith in my abilities. In desperation (it was already late March when I found out, and most dates closed on April 1st or so), I applied to a local branch school which I had visited a few times through high school and liked all right, and I tried to apply to a school a few hours away in a town that I really liked (sadly, there are two schools with almost identical names, and I chose the wrong one on Common App, though that was probably a sign that I was not meant to go there, because that school was not for me, haha). I greatly considered taking a gap year, but this idea was shot down by my parents, many times. Finally, a week or so later, I was accepted to the local branch college, and, honestly I didn't want to have to walk across the stage at graduation without saying "attending this college for so-and-so major," and with the encouragement of my parents, I registered for classes, and I had a college. Then, when asked whether I wanted to study creative writing or environmental science, I picked science because it sounded more stable to me, an AP science kid who spent most of my time with kids who were going into engineering or the medical field. I tried to study it, but biology is just not for me, and I gave up on it pretty quickly into that semester. But, I kept on at college, even as failing tests and making few to no new friends took a severe hit on my usually cheerful personality. Whenever people asked, I put on a half-smiling face and said college was all right. But, I let myself get really, really down. I got sucked into tv series on Netflix (don't get me wrong, I loved watching all that Doctor Who and Say Yes to the Dress) and spent most of my time on the couch. I wasn't the old me, and I wasn't happy. Even this past summer, I went on a college visit or two, but it felt fake,  I still didn't feel like this was my future I was planning. But, I did make progress on my happiness, and learned to live more in the moment, as I said before (: Now, finally, I feel like I'm closer to believing that I can truly make my own future, like I can really go wherever I want to go, that stupid obstacles really don't mean anything. 

For the future: I want to live in a city. I don't know where yet, maybe New York City? I don't care how far away I go, because I know that I can come home, and that they can get on without me here. I also want to go abroad again. Maybe somewhere different: I'm looking at you, France, Spain. Maybe somewhere I've been: England, Ireland, Scotland. I want a life filled with beauty. I want to dress in the clothes/styles I dream about (I'm working on this one already). I want to keep the happiness I feel each morning through to when I go to sleep at night. I want to make friends every where I go, to meet strangers and become family. I want to see all the world. I want someone to share my life with, someone to care for and someone who cares for me. I want to find out the truths of life, and to share them with the people around me, the world around me, in whatever I choose to do with myself. I want to live a happy life. 

Whatever the situation of your AYP, I wish you all the best in reaching your future. Please share yours with me if you like! I know not many people read this, but some do! And I thank you if you do, it means a lot that you see my thoughts and care to read them. Good luck to you all, and good night! xx

AYP.

A long while ago, maybe a couple of years, I had an idea, wrote it down on a post-it note, and stuck it on the side of my dresser, by my head, so that I would think about it and follow its directions when I was feeling stuck, as I had been when I wrote it. (But, being stereotypical me, it's been like 2 years and I'm just now getting around to it, lol. But, I probably need it the most now anyway, so here goes!)
And my theory was:

AYP.

Accept Your Position.

Basically, the steps to follow were to stop looking forward or back, but simply say: I Am Here. (Ya know, like one of those little red stars on a map in a rest area on the highway or something). Regardless of where I wanted/want to be in my life right now, literally and/or figuratively, I am currently here. How do I feel about being here?

Then, you must look back. How did I arrive here? Which choices lead me to this position? Why did I make them? Pros and cons of making them?

Finally, look ahead. What would I like to change about my position? Where would I rather be? What would I rather be doing? Which steps are necessary to getting me where I want to be? What can I start doing right this very moment to put me on the way towards where I want to be?

I hope that everyone, at least at some point in their life, can reach their desired position, because isn't that what we're all striving for out in this big, bad world? If you aren't on the right path, get on it! Today is the day to start making changes in your life. I for one, have finally reached that point where I'm ready to kick myself in the butt and do something, because I'm sick of sitting around mildly (or not even) satisfied with my position, and it's time to get to the places I want to be, the life I want to be living. Please, from someone who's done this, don't spend all your time dreaming. The longer you dream, the harder it is to let yourself have something that you want, because you've idolized something in your head so much that the reality just won't compare. In the wise words of Edith Wharton (if you haven't read The Age of Innocence, I highly recommend it. It makes you think about life in a really great way.),

"Only I wonder--the thing one's so certain of in advance:

can it ever make one's heart beat as widely?"

So, as you assess your position and the changes you may need to make in your life, make good plans, and follow them, but don't be surprised if everything doesn't go exactly according to how you set it up, because it just may be better that way (:

Walking on Sunshine

WOOOOAAAAHHHH!

Ahem, hi. :) So, it's been a while, per usual. Last week was spent enjoying every single day of my vacation to the Outer Banks with my family. Literally, I was just so...comfortable, the entire week. And it was fantastic. During this time, I was on Instagram, and a quote account I follow, zynp, posted a quote that really really resonated with me and how I was feeling:

"If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present."

-Lao Tzu

Eureka! I was at peace. I finally followed my own advice and I lived in the moment. I didn't worry about how many days were left in the week, how many hours in the day, or even what was for breakfast the next morning. Nope, for the first time in a long time, I simply did what I wanted until I wanted something new, and it was great. Of course there were moments when my own time was cut short by an invitation to do this or that with a family member, but doing things with them were pleasant too, and nothing I was doing couldn't be paused or wait until tomorrow to continue enjoying. It was absolutely a beautiful, refreshing experience, and, finally, my head felt clear and empty in a good way.

Unsurprisingly, the feeling didn't quite make it home with me, because with a long car ride, I had plenty of time to return to worries about the disarray I had left behind at home. 

But then again, vacations aren't permanent, they are meant to be refreshers to prepare us for another stint of dealing with regular life. So, whenever the fear comes creeping up again, at least now I have the ability to remember how wonderful I felt last week, and that a deep breath can go quite a long way. 

And today, in the frustrating grasp of the expansive internet, I felt myself wasting away another beautiful morning, and I felt the panic of that unproductive behavior and an empty wasted day coiling around me like a boa constrictor yet again. So I got out the list I'd made Sunday night to be completed on Monday (I'm literally like the world's worst completer of lists I make for myself, haha), and, since I had drifted to lists of majors at colleges in my feeble attempt at productive internet activities, I decided to open back up my cobwebby (that's a real word?! There's no red squiggle underneath and I am so surprised!) Common Application that I had started months ago post-counselor session. And actually, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was not only mostly done, but the things I needed to fill in were quick and easy, and just like that, I have now actually finally applied to another college, after over a year of saying I would. It's...done. And it feels wonderful! Finally, I have done something good for myself using just a spare bit of time in a day without any other requirement of myself. And now, why not take my favorite book (The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset Maugham, have I mentioned that previously? If I have, I'm not sorry, because it deserves to be constantly mentioned and you need to go find it and read it, like, NOW) outside, set up the hammock, and enjoy this day which has turned out to be absolutely gorgeous? The sun's come out and I feel happy :)

As a quick wrap-up here to explain the title of this post, I have to tell a tale from four years back to my travels to Europe, which I will shamelessly mention for the millionth time in something I'm writing. 

While in Wales, we met up with a group called FullOn which basically deals with empowering kids and exposing them to character-building activities. With this group of energetic, bubbly Australian, Kiwi (New Zealanders), and Welsh 20- or 30-somethings, we used just our hand or foot to break a 1-inch thick slab of wood and learned about the RAS (Reticular Activating System), a part of your brain which deals with picking up on the main idea of a thought and so will ignore words like no (e.g. if you were to say "I never fail tests," the RAS only hears "I fail tests"). thus speaking in positive terms only (e.g. instead, saying "I always pass tests") will make you naturally more confident and frequent in your success! With all this great information in our heads, we made our way over from their facilities to Penrhyn Castle on an estate west of Bangor to prepare to repel down an 80-foot tower! I'm a pretty active and daring thing, but once I was inside the tower waiting to go up to the top platform that we would repel from, I became very frightened and apprehensive. Once I got to the top, my helper from FullOn, Emi, was as sweet as could be and helped me up into position on the top of the tower. It had been overcast all day so far (I know, shocking for Wales), but as soon I was on the top corner of the tower, frozen with fear, the sun poked through the clouds, lighting up the day! Emi said to me, "See! The sun came out for you!" And then started singing "I'm Walking on Sunshine" as I sang back the "Wooaahhh" part and began to inch my way down the wall. Before I knew it, I was over the hardest cusp and enjoying myself thoroughly. The rest of the way down was a piece of cake and I loved every second. I have no idea if it was anything special to Emi, but it made an absolute impact on my life, her simple joy and happiness distracting me so that I could enjoy the journey over the hardest bit. Oh, and the sun went away after I made it to the bottom and never came back out again that day, so how's that for special?

If you're going over the tip-top of your tower, I know it's scary, and I know it's hard, but never forget to sing along on the way :)

Static//Clarity

A moment ago, I tried to decide what I was thinking about, and the answer my mind gave was a million voices talking at once. I've had days like this before; when I tried to look into my mind and all I got was static like on a tv. I hate this. It makes me feel lost, even within myself.
And I'm frustrated, because today had the potential to be good, and actually most of it was.
But, things happen and moods change, unfortunately. Especially when one is as easily affected by the moods of those around me as I am.

But tonight is a nice night. We have the door open and it's thunderstorming quietly outside and it's perfectly comfortable in my chair in the family room. So, I want to talk about nice things, because I hate that this blog I wanted to make all cool is turning out to be an occasional rant-fest (though I do appreciate the released steam and I do try to infuse something positive in as well).

The reason for my current discomfort mentally is that I feel like I'm not in control of my own life, and like I must relinquish even more control to make headway towards being able to control it (namely financially, but also in dealing with my parents). Which is life I guess; you give to get. But, I just feel like even now I'm not in a good place mentally to be dealing with all this and to make myself give up more control. I'm still adrift in my little sea of lost thoughts and unanswered questions, and I don't see my dove returning with an olive branch just yet.
But life is still happening around me. People are going on with their lives and jobs and friends and trips and time is still passing.
But as I said in my last post, it feels like I'm a rock in a stream, in all this.
And that is in no way how I want to live my life. I want to be actively involved, all the time.

So, while I had hoped for more time to sort out my mind, I suppose I'll have to just work with what I'm given, and start slowly on the road to recovery and growth. If anyone else is going through this too, I reach out my hand to you, because I know you (and I) could always use another friend in this process.
Today, instead of my usual rant and hope for a better future, I've decided to make myself an actual plan with actual steps (as broad or concise as I need them to be), that I will try to accomplish for myself this summer.
Now, I'm not usually one for lists and crossing things off of them, because, it just isn't usually helpful to me. So, I'm going to try to make a list that doesn't seem too daunting for me and the other non-listers out there.

My Accomplishments Made in Summer '13

(at side, include boxes for check marks next to all accomplishments, or whatever suits your style)

• Read at least 3 new titles or authors
• Log 12 miles each week (May-June), Log 15 miles each week (July-August)
• Save half of all I earn, no questions asked
• Drink a glass of water before each meal, and 3 more each day than usual (4 by July)
• Continue my journal from Spanish class weekly
• Get outside rain or shine every day
• Figure out a meaningful job that I could enjoy, and get it by the end of May
• CLEAN OUT MY CLOTHES AND ROOMS OF JUNK
• Look into school things for next year, like my classes and studying abroad
• Limit internet/TV to 3 hours a day total
• Teach myself the ability of my choice:________________ (ex: a language, how to knit, a painting style, etc.)

• Visit 3 new places and truly explore them

 

Now, of course my list is personal, and maybe not even as long as I'd like it in the future, but for now it's good and I'm happy with it and feel like I can accomplish everything on it. I know that setting small goals is the key towards accomplishing big ones, so now I'm on the road to finally following my own advice. Happy Summer and good luck! 

P.S. I just glanced up at my original title ("Static") and realized that my mind felt a whole lot calmer and better organized. So it needed updating. Sorted. (:

The Fear

I have been forming the beginnings of blog posts in my head literally since I finished my last one like three or four months ago. I do it all the time, I've noticed. Well, here we go again!

So, I'm afraid. That's a pretty human feeling, yes, but one I've been experiencing too often lately, and I think it's about time for that to stop.

I feel like mostly, I'm afraid of becoming irrelevant.
Yeah, I think that about sums up my past, mm, two or three years of life? It's possible two because three years ago I still had at least a good amount of my unabashed confidence left from my childhood. (Has it been three years since those days already?) Back then, the future was still this fantastic, faraway place that someday I'd come across, but things will have worked themselves out by that point, and I'll go into it either knowing what's going on, or with the security of time to figure things out along the way.
I really wish I was never disillusioned.
Well, of course that's not true at the same time......yes, it is. Ha.
What I mean is, I wish that this year didn't pass in a scarily quick flash and that I actually had more to remember from it. Now, of course I actually forget many of the mundane things that have happened to me over the years. But, I had dreams for this year that I formed over years of life. And, this year didn't live up to them, not even close, and I'm disappointed by that. Not that I'm looking for every dream I create to come true, but I'd like more than I got, and half of this at least is my fault. For a long time (and I mean looooong), I felt so jaded (I still do, actually) about the way my life was panning out. But honestly, how much better have things gotten while I sat here and voiced my displeasure over and over? Not much. Maybe up to a dull okay.
And that ain't me.
So, back to my original point: I'm afraid of being irrelevant.
All my life, I've read about, watched, heard, seen these people who lived interesting lives, said interesting things, made interesting things, even if just in my eyes. And I sucked up this information like a sponge. I was really blessed in the opportunities I had to learn about so many different things in life (thanks, Dad). So, all this information I was given set in me this sense of a life that I was forever seeking. Of course no one actually would dream of the life spent from 9-5 in a barren cubicle (would they?), but it was more than that: I knew that I wanted more from life even than the above-cubicle-average life. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to learn about everything on the Earth, and beyond.
Even just in my background (half of life spent in the suburbs, half in the country), I felt this sense of difference from the people around me because I had a more diverse understanding about different types of living. There is this constant sense of restlessness in me that I need to be out living this incredible life I've dreamed up for years.
Being in college, everyone tells me I've got time to figure it out. However, since I took a lot of AP courses in high school and did well enough for them to transfer for credit (and went to a school that accepts them, thankfully), I'm actually a semester ahead. So, being told "I've got time" when I'm actually ahead of those my age and thus closer to graduation in that sense, plus when I feel like I'm not yet living this life I want and I'm so impatient to be living, it can be extremely frustrating.
So, in the sense of life, I feel like I'm becoming irrelevant because I'm just floundering around in defeat at home while the adventure I want is just out of my reach. I feel like I'm going in the opposite direction of the growth I need to achieve to be ready for that life I want, and it scares me. Am I heading towards that cubicle life, and the misery I'd certainly feel there? (Literally, the first time I walked into a cubicle I felt claustrophobic). I want nothing more than to grow culturally and intellectually into the person I wish to be, but I'm having such a hard time figuring out the way to go about doing that.
"You've got time to figure those things out, Jane, don't worry."
Do I though?! I've got to pick my classes months in advance and I'm supposed to find a new stable job so that I can fund my life (how is it that people I don't know seem to have no issue with that?).
It's actually funny, because this April, after weeks of taking personality tests and talking with a kind adviser about my life and my interests, I did make a decision for my future: I chose to major in Spanish. And for at least a week or two, I felt fantastic about this decision and happy about the prospects of my future. But then, suddenly my parents had all these questions about the major, its stability, job expectancy, etc., and I felt under attack and lost confidence in my plans again. If my parents had their way, I'd be an engineer or a doctor, while my heart lies in language, art, history, nature, the written word, etc. Now, it's not to say that maybe I couldn't succeed in one of those professions, but I just don't see myself in them. But then the world seems to be against me in this because how many jobs do you hear of lately in my loves that are in high demand and fund a great lifestyle? Fewer, at least.
I want someone to tell me what to do.
I was talking about this with my good friend just the other day, and it's such an ironic thing for two teenage girls to say, isn't it? But truly, I want someone to look me up and down, know my head and what I've lived through, and say "You are meant to do _________. You're perfect for it, it'll keep you happy forever, and it'll fund the life you desire." I actually miss the structure of being told what to do with my life (at least in the form of guidance), because right now it feels like I'm a fledgling being gently tossed out of my nest instead of jumping by choice, but I'm still expected to learn to fly. And so, I'm scared. Because so far, no one's had that magic answer for me, and I don't know if anyone will. It's up to me, and that's a hard thing to grasp and actually bring to fruition. I'm sad to say that over the past year, I've taken to saying "I'll try" instead of "I will". But sometimes it was the best I could say.
On the other side of irrelevance, I'm also scared of becoming irrelevant to other people. I'm scared that having a whole year of not doing much on my own, people will stop being interested in me. With such a wide range of interests as I have, for a long time I felt like the glue that held together my group of different friends. But now that we're solid, I'm not as necessary to hold us together, and I feel myself falling into the shadows when we all share stories together, because I've got nothing new to say, and jokes about my situation can only be made so many times before they turn to true sympathy. I want my own stories. I want to have things to tell. And the thing is, I still have them. They may be of a different nature, or even of the same, but my mind's so stuck in the shadows now that I'll forget to even bring them up, because I'm used to talking about the goings on of those around me. I don't want to be a wallflower. I want to feel like a leader again, I want to feel fresh and exciting and like someone my friends look to for anything really, everything I had to give before. Because there's still more to give in me, I just have to find it. Easier said than done, but for now, it's summer, I'm barely working, and so I've got a lot of time with my mind. As one of many interesting things said in Eat Pray Love went, "The meditation room is within, Groceries. Decorate that." So, time for some soul-searching. I don't even care how cliche that sounds, because it's literally my only plan for myself for the next three months, and I think that's a beautiful thing to be able to say.

Happy living to all you other lost souls out there. "Whenever God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window!" :)

Living in the Moment

Recently, I had a little epiphany about a bad habit I've had over the years. Too often during things I enjoy, I find myself counting the days, hours, minutes left until that good thing must end. While my brain seems to just be taking stock of how much left enjoyment I get to experience, it can be a real downer on the actual experience by taking me away from the fun. I got to see Ellie Goulding with a friend the other night (Ellie was AMAZING), and on the way there, I realized that I had accidentally left my memory card out of my camera. In the age of smartphones and their advanced cameras, this should have been no big deal, but I am a hoarder and my poor 8G just doesn't have all the memory space I require. So, I tried to open up a bit of space on my phone, and went into the concert with the knowledge that each snap would have to count. With that in mind, I went into the show doing my usual act of capturing every move the performer makes. A few songs in though, as my camera began to fill up, I realized that I wasn't as focused on this music that I loved, as I was on recording the experience to share with others and enjoy later on.
Ironically, I discovered later that night that the videos I recorded were actually at very odd spots in songs and thus were not very useful. However, I was not unhappy with this result. Why? Because, once I realized that I was focusing so much on snapping pictures or quality videos, I put my phone into my pocket, buttoned the flap over top, and set about enjoying the concert and the environment around me. I have to say, the crowd was great, Ellie was an amazing performer, and I had a great experience that I can remember well, all the way through! It was only after putting away the technology and focusing on the event at hand that I began to really enjoy the show. I can remember many such occurances, be they concerts, vacations, parties, etc. where I wasted time that I could have been enjoying on focusing on how much longer I had to enjoy the experience--which of course takes the joy out of it, at least for me.
My absolute favorite book about life in general which literally helped shape the way I think about many things is The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset Maugham. In this book (which I recommend everyone should read), there is a quote which spoke to me, and stuck with me, ever since I first read the book a couple years ago.
"'But endless duration makes good no better, nor white any whiter. If the rose at noon has lost the beauty it had at dawn, the beauty it had then was real. Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.'"-W. Somerset Maugham
I have carried this quote with me for a long time, but apparently never fully submitted to its truth. What is the point in acquiring good things if we won't enjoy them? In the past, I have been afraid of good moments turning into only memories. I feared losing this thing which was momentarily brought within my grasp. But honestly, as the quote denotes, there is no point in trying to hold on to something transitory, like a moment. Wasting time focusing on trying to prolong a moment makes no sense at all, when you think about it. So, enjoy this moment, this second. Not because it will soon be gone, but because it was given to you, and why not be happy at least with that?

The New Year

It makes me happy that, each year, we still find it possible to find the changing of a clock hand so exciting, and still hold on to the hope that, this year, things will change for the better.
I know that, until now, I've mostly used this blog as an outlet for my frustration with various things, but it has also been a place that I tried to let that all out, and then stay hopeful for a positive change in the future. And for at least this one more post, the same is upon us. Cue anecdote. At the end of my first semester of college, I felt frustrated, burned out, and like I had moved no where at all. However, some different words from a family member finally helped me see the benefit of this semester. While chatting about my most personally disliked class this semester (biology), instead of asking me if I knew what my plans for the future were and what I wanted to do, he asked, "Well, did you figure out what you don't want to do?" All of a sudden, I realized that this semester was productive at least in that I realized that I need to make a change in my life, and that not everything I try will be something I like or what is right for me. So with that, I got to thinking.
Now, maybe a week later, I have realized that, as literally all of my best friends and my sisters have been saying for actual months, I need to get out of my current Environmental Studies major, and into one which actually suits me, probably in either Creative Writing, Journalism, or Spanish, and perhaps minor in a science that I enjoy (perhaps leading up to one day fulfilling my dream of writing/photographing for National Geographic Magazine). My dad, the extreme "realist" that he is, quickly wished me luck in ever finding work with a Creative Writing degree. This is hard to hear of course, especially since it took me a lot of courage to decide in myself to veer away from the sciences, but as my little sister reminded me today, I need to become better at hearing and appreciating others' opinions, but only using those which are beneficial to me and what I actually want.
And, funny enough, today I logged onto my school email for the first time in a while, only to find an email about my interest in the Creative Writing major (it was my second choice on my application) and encouraging me to attend a Creative Writing class in order to learn about the course and give my information for possibly joining the major in the future.
I can take a hint. ;)
So, with that on my mind, going back to school doesn't seem so daunting, and neither do the remaining 4ish years of my university education. Just like other years, I'm starting this one with quite a bit of hope, but also with a new brightness along that far-off horizon, and I hope you are as well. I hope that 2013 is the year that you, as well as I, finally do that thing--that one thing--that has haunted the back of your mind for many a non-January-1st-day. Go on that trip. Talk to that person. Lose that weight. Take up that hobby.  Realize that dream.
Whatever your resolution, I wish you the best of luck. Here's to a good year. Happy 2013!